What the 4th of July Means to Me

Something for him and her…

Originally shared by +John Pozadzides (John P.)

What the 4th of July Means to Me
Each year, Americans gather together to ritualistically set off explosives, gluttonously demonstrate what it means to be a carnivore, get sickeningly drunk, and give the rest of world the collective middle finger. But is that really all there is to it?

Hell no.

– Half the people in America are only here because they were kicked out of their own countries. And the other half are here because their ancestors were abducted. There's a reason all the best serial killers come from 'Merica. Because even 200 years later, you don't want none of this.

– How many other countries have EVER won a Super Bowl?

– Wal-Mart, Coca Cola, McDonald's.

– The entire entertainment industry.

– Back to Back World War Champions.

– George Foreman grills.

– Bacon.

– Flux Capacitors.

– The Internet. You're welcome.

– Fried EVERYTHING.

And finally, lets not forget, the last time I (or anyone else) checked, the only flag on the moon is… you guessed it. The good old Stars and Stripes.

So, if you're a fellow American raise a glass in celebration! And if you're not so lucky, cheer up. You can always come for a visit. And we give away free guns to tourists as parting gifts when they're leaving the country.

Hey ya'll, watch this…